Parenting Made Simple | Dr. Nikeya Young x Lois Shonukan | VLS Podcast Ep 90

Y'all know I keep it real on this podcast, and this week's episode with my sister-friend Minister Lois Shonukan was no exception! We got deep into the beautiful mess that is motherhood and how to simplify parenting through prayer, intention, and finding your tribe.

The Praying Mom's Secret Weapon

Lois just released her powerful new book, "The Praying Mom Journal", and let me tell you – it's the resource I wish I'd had during those challenging early parenting days! This 52-week journal helps busy moms be intentional about praying for every aspect of their children's lives.

"I found myself praying the same prayer every single day," Lois shared. "And I'm like, you know what? There's a lot more that I really want to be deliberate about praying for these kids."

Instead of just saying "Lord, bless and protect them" on repeat, this journal helps you pray specifically for their future spouse, their friendships, their career, and so much more. As someone who's been through seasons where I was too overwhelmed to even know what to pray, I immediately ordered this book when Lois announced it!

Our Motherhood Journeys

We both got real about our kids and their distinct personalities. Lois has four children: Micah, her "gentle giant" 12-year-old son who's already 6'2"; Zoe, her "feisty chips" daughter who's sweet as can be until you push her buttons; Hope Judah, who brings light wherever she goes; and little Naomi, whom they call "Naomi Bliss" because she brings such peace to their home.

I shared about my journey with my three kids – Rodney III (who we sometimes call "Munchkin"), and my twins Nalea and Nissi. We laughed about how my first was the "perfect" baby (classic trap to make you want more children!), and how my twins embody different parts of my personality – one took my love for fashion and all things girly, while the other inherited my determined, adventurous side.

The most powerful part of our conversation?

When Lois emphasized the importance of names and speaking life over our children:

"I believe in giving your kids prophetic names because I really do believe that their names have a lot to do with their destiny. And I promise you, every single one of my kids, their name has a lot to do with who they are."

Finding Your Motherhood Tribe

Both Lois and I emphasized how crucial it is to have the right community around you as a mom. Not just any community – the RIGHT community.

"Having a community could be just girlfriends around you that you can vent to," Lois explained. "I have a community of people that have kids around the same age, and I vent."

I opened up about how I had to carefully curate my community over the years. Your parenting journey needs people who uplift, not people who constantly point out flaws or compare children.

"You can feel the difference when somebody is saying something like, 'Oh, have you tried this? I went through this with mine,'" I shared. "Versus when it's coming from a place of judgment."

Your community should leave you feeling uplifted and encouraged – not judged and depleted.

The Power of What You Speak

One of my favorite parts of our conversation was about the power of confessions – not just affirmations, but speaking God's word over your children.

"It's a spiritual law," Lois explained. "Whatever you speak to your children is what you're gonna get. Words are spiritual. You're literally declaring those things."

We both believe so strongly that what you speak over your children shapes their future. Instead of calling out their flaws, speak to who God created them to be. Even if they're in a challenging season, your words can call forth their destiny.

Simplifying Your Life as a Mom

Lois dropped some serious wisdom about simplifying life: "Shut out the noise." She took a year-long break from social media and found it incredibly freeing:

"It has been one of the best decisions that I've made... In shutting down the noise, we were able to see clearly and hear clearly and also do some other things that God has called us to do, like these books."

For those concerned about business impacts, I added: "I know some of you are like, 'I can't get off social media because of business.' Schedule your posts and go on with your life!"

The Bottom Line

Motherhood doesn't have to be complicated. By focusing on prayer, speaking life, finding the right community, and cutting out unnecessary noise, we can simplify parenting and raise children who walk in their God-given purpose.

Don't miss this powerful conversation! Check out the full episode above, and be sure to grab Lois's "The Praying Mom Journal" and subscribe to her YouTube channel, The Well with Lois Shonukan.

What helps you simplify parenting? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!